Dust - Staub

Months ago, at a time when I rather had to work at my museum´s stuff, I depressed a friend of mine. I was telling her, that my way of living is much better than hers (Indeed it is), much better than the ones of 6.5 billion people. I mean, wtf!?, what to achieve more in 80 than in 40 years?
She couldn´t understand. Everybody must have certain goals in life (like threesomes, kids, …), she said. Some kind of implicit list. But, what if you already ticked of all points? What if there is no more to expect? Nobody watches the credits in a motion-picture.

“Getting older isn´t self-serving. So it don´t make any sense to continue, just to meet consensual demands. There is no sense, if there is nothing to do. Just boring. Years, after years, after years... Our society raises a compulsory life to an inevitable dogma. All religions (except of Hinduism) damn suicide. Why? Life is worthless. Not in general, but a single life. All the people are so feared of death. They all desperately hold on to an uncertain future. Death is nice, no more responsibilities, no more duties – nothing. We´re all gonna be a good fertilizer. A quiet peace. There is no hope. Nothing´s gonna change. If you want to change something, do it now. Don´t wait till you´re 80. Never hesitate. Bla bla bla…", I told her.

She didn´t like my remarks. I was mad at her, because she was mad at me. So I had to think about something to lift her mood, something that fits her dogmatic, fascist, unreflected way of living - like a goal in life.
First of all, I decided that my very goal in life should be… hmmm…

I´m going to have the tenderest skin of the universe! Yeah!
But that would piss her off even more, if my skin is softer and smoother than hers. So I did some really hard thinking, more long than hard but eitherway…

And I had a brilliant idea, so read about “My goal in life”. I had to write it in German, because I don´t know what “Bremsenstempeln”, “Viergelenker” und “Anlieger” means in English. (If you don´t understand my German, please don´t think I spend more on skincare than on bikes. That’s an utter lie!)

(The attempt to articulate the following in German took me several hours, to write it in this lowbrow West Germanic language, I only spent a morning. So, let´s give it a try.)

In my opinion, and good ole Goethe will agree (well, he is not really in the condition to contradict), the final, ultimate, uber, superb goal in life is not a state, it is not anything substantial. In my, (in our ;) opinion this goal means a process. Or, more precise: it´s climax.
So, I thought about jumping out of a plane with no parachute. But that was already done. Poor me, it seemed to be fun.
Now, I am in need of something special, something holistic, something that suits me. Something on the edge. After intense deliberation, I decided the following.

I am going to perform the most perfect surf on the most perfect berm ever!

I know exactly what it needs. Perfect weather (23°, low sun short after sunrise), perfect Track (Jura-chalk, like in Besançon or Métabief) perfect berm (wide, race-like, 4 - 5m radius, 10° decline, and a maximum 30° angle) and a hardtail or a Horst-link full suspension bike (in German it´s less difficult called: 4-Gelenker) equipped with Maxxis Minion DH 2,5” 42a tyres.

I want to go really, really fast, pedaling through the berm, so fast that my wheels will be right on the edge between rolling and surfing.

This particular feeling is hard to describe. I know right now how it´ll feel. Both tyres have lost their grip, only gravitation keeps me on track. It´s just a thin red line, a very small edge, between rolling and serious injuries. I want to see dust in the wind, feel loosing the grip, hear my tyres judder.

That´s all I want.


So, stop crying. It´s not sad! I am confident of my future.